The Downside

Many of us had imaginary friends when we were growing up. Many of us even gave those friends names, talked to them when we were lonely, and hosted tea parties with them. Some of us pretended they were our personal slaves and ordered them to rub our feet.

But this is 2006, and the old school imaginary friend is apparently passe. Now you can have an Imaginary Girlfriend. She won’t go to dinner with you. She won’t talk to you on the phone, and she won’t meet your parents. And no, this isn’t a prostitute or escort - it’s just a girl (in theory) who sends you letters, emails, photos, and romantic gifts as if she were your actual long-distance girlfriend. All of the nonsense of a real relationship without the benefits.

From the site:

“Tired of your friends and family telling you to get a girlfriend? Want to make that certain someone a little jealous? Need a confidence boost? Just feeling lonely sometimes? With an Imaginary Girlfriend, you can carry on a completely fictitious, yet authentic looking relationship with the girl of your choice.”

And my favorite part of the pitch:

“The girls are real. The relationship is not. When your time is up you can break up with her for whatever reason you decide, and she’ll write you a final letter begging you to take her back. Our service is easy-to-use, lots of fun, and discreet. The privacy of our customers and Imaginary Girlfriends is always protected.”

Wow, writing that pitch must have been a blast. I can just imagine sitting around a table coming up with copy…I really wish I could see the copy they thought wasn’t good enough for the site…

• “Sick of actually having to see your girlfriend day after day? IG is for you!”
• “Looking for the excitement of an affair without the guilt? Or the excitement?”
• “If you’re one of the millions of people who love long distance relationships but can’t find someone far enough away that you’ll never have to actually take them out or bring them flowers, this is your lucky day!”
• “All the hassle and wasted time of a long-distance relationship, with none of the benefits!”
• “Enjoy breaking up with people, but sick of the tee-peeings, keyed cars, and tearful calls at 3 in the morning that go along with it? Sign up now!”

But hey, who’s to say it’s a bad idea? Maybe it’ll make millions of dollars and satisfy lonely men around the world. Or maybe not.

While walking in to work this morning here at Demand Media, I saw something that raised a lot of questions.  There was a homeless guy standing next to a bench where his belongings sat in a heap, and he was holding his shirt up.  He was shaving.  His chest.  Right around the nipple.

Only in LA do you find metrosexual bums.

Several questions sprang to mind naturally: isn’t it a little cold to be shaving one’s chest outdoors at this hour of the morning?   No shaving cream, or at least water? Did he buy the razor or find it?  If he bought it, what did he decide not to buy so that he could shave his chest?  One never gets bored people-watching in Santa Monica.

Ever have a loved one die, but think that a boring old wood coffin just doesn’t do them justice? Well, your prayers have been answered. Thank you Oxford Coffins for giving us Colored Coffins. Here are a few of my favorites:

And for all your death and dying needs, be sure to check out Funeral Depot - it’s like Home Depot, but for dead people. When you go to the link, be sure to use Internet Explorer and turn your speakers on - their opening audio is not to be missed.

In my browsing of Yahoo! News in the morning, I have come across this ad several times. What in blue blazes is going on in this picture, and why does it make me want to apply for mortgage? Someone needs to have a little talk with the ad designers over at Lowermybills.

If you’re into the gaming world at all, and you have at least the slightest grasp of World War II history, you’ll like this hilarious take on “If WWII was an MMORPG.” If you didn’t understand the acronyms in the title of this post, don’t bother reading it because it’s all geekspeak.